And I was like, "Why the fuck would I be all the way out at Golf Mill?"

And he was like, "Because they got Tekken 4 on test there, dumbass!"

Guess what we all ended up doing that night? (No, we didn't sit around with our thumbs up our asses trying to figure out what to do.) So we all went to Golf Mill and got to see Tekken 4 in person two weeks before the official release. This was the only machine in North America and it seemed like everyone in NA who played Tekken was in that arcade that night. Ok, so it wasn't that bad, but they had tokens stacked up on top of each other on the dash and you had to wait like 45 minutes for you turn. So I stayed and watched, but decided not to play that night. Most of the people were from out of town so I figured it would lighten up later next week. Game looked nice while I was watching and I wasn't really surprised by anything after watching all those videos on the net.

I dropped by Golf Mill after work yesterday in hopes of actually getting to play the game. Imagine my surprise when I walk in to find the place pretty fucking barren except for a few guys by Tekken 4. I cash a buck and put my coin up. This time I got to stand right next to the machine and trust me when I say this game looks gorgeous in person on a high-resolution monitor. The video clips on the net do not do this game justice. The sound was blasting so I couldn't really make out any of the music because there was too much bass (I hate that shit). The sound effects sounded the same as Tag. The characters do talk now though and the voices sounded pretty good. The graphics are crisp and the character animation and detail are excellent. I love the facial expressions.

"Let go of my fucking balls!!!"

It's my turn to play and the other player and I both pick Kazuya (was there ever any doubt?) I pick the airport stage and the guy I'm playing is actually considerate enough to let me watch the character intro. Kaz says some shit in Japanese while trying to look cool and the match starts. Unlike previous Tekkens you can actually move around before the match starts. My opponent walks right up to me and crouches. It more or less looked wrong, but before I could even laugh to myself about it the round starts and he plants a counter-hit gut punch on my sorry ass. I still saw it coming though and held forward to escape the stun. Unfortunately, the old escape command didn't seem to work and he planted another gut punch on me while I was already stunned. My character was still reeling from the previous blow, but wasn't knocked down by the punch. He then followed up the second hit with a while-standing axe-kick that left me standing and at a serious disadvantage. I quickly glance up at the life-bar to realize I've lost about 75% of my energy in less than 3 seconds into the match. Ahhh… good 'ol Tekken. He wasn't done yet though. Using the frame advantage he had gained from the connected axe kick, my opponent crouch dashed in and planted a counter-hit wind god fist right in my face killing me with the resulting juggle.

Kazuya's new "gatling" combo.

Bad start… but I wasn't about to give up. Next round starts and I start playing relatively well. Text book Mishima style stuff. Punch, sweeps. Punch, god fist. I'm doing pretty good now and I've got him on the defensive. I handicap a crouch dash (sticks were too loose or long… I'm not sure what it was) and land the first hit of the twin pistons only to have the second hit blocked. A move that has always been guaranteed after the first hit since Tekken first fucking came out. My mouth pretty much dropped and my opponent started laughing. Undaunted, I dodged his counter move and landed the classic 1,1,2 flash punch combo… only to have the last hit blocked. Another move which has always been guaranteed after the first hit since Tekken first fucking came out. My mouth drops and my opponent laughs again. Pretty fucking pissed off, I haul off and whip out an electric wind god fist. Only to stare in disbelief and drop my mouth once again as the move (which has always hit mid or at least special-mid) fucking whiffs over my opponent's goddamn head. Laughing all the way, my opponent puts me out of my misery with another gut punch combo from hell. I hang my head in disgust and ask if there is any way to escape the stun. He just looks at me solemnly and shakes his head. Ouch. He did compliment me on my playing though. It was obvious I played a good amount of Tekken, but a lot of the powerful strategies and moves from Tag just don't work any more in 4.

I played once more with similar results. Just had a hard time letting go of the old strategies. It seemed pretty obvious that Kazuya is still a strong character though. I mean, this guy wasn't using the old tricks too much, but the new stuff was definitely strong. I talked to him a bit and found out that he was a tournament winner from Milwaukee who drove out to Niles just to play Tekken 4. I didn't feel bad about the loss to begin with, but knowing he was damn good helped me forget about it even more. Heh heh.

Afterwards, I just stayed a little longer and watched that guy rape the other players there. Luckily, they were all using different characters all the time. They had printed out move lists and would just try new stuff now and then.

Steve Fox a.k.a. Dean Earwicker (Namco's been smoking something) looked pretty badass. He just looks so cool when he's bobbing and weaving. I real second-guess psyche out character. Looks like he's going to attack, feints, and then counters your sorry ass. Really fast also. A lot of his moves stun you in some way or another and allow him to run up and dish out even more punishment. Scary shit. He'll be one of the stronger characters at first, but I'm not sure how long that will last.

Namco really bent over backwards to bring us this quality game... doh.

Christie is the hottie of the game. Eddie Gordo with tits. The perfect scrub character. She has all the appeal of a button masher friendly character with bouncing boobs to boot. A lot of people will be using her, but I don't think I'll mind at all. She's nice to look at. Eddy… err… Christie can be pretty scary in the hands of an expert though. Especially once she starts going into all those uncounterable strings. Just gotta be patient, but it's a pain in the ass having to sit there and block all that shit. Oh well… mid-tier at best, but it's nice to have variety.

"Spread 'em, baby."

Craig Marduk is a fucking beast. The dude is HUGE. He's even bigger than King. Fast, powerful, and ugly. Marduk just screams intimidation factor. People used him quite a bit during my first visit and he's got some sick moves. Fast powerful one-hit wonders and plenty of throws. He has many tackle moves where he mounts your sorry ass and beats you senseless. Reminded me a lot of those broke ass fight scenes from Planet of the Apes where they pounded on each other's faces gorilla style. Looks strong, but I bet most players will be countering those slow ass tackles on reaction in the future. I just don't see him being that competitive at high levels of play, but what do I know?

"Please don't eat me."

Hwoarang looks cool in his new army outfit. I just wish they kept his Japanese-cool (read: gay) biker outfit. Oh well. Looks the same as in Tekken Tag, except a little faster (although the overall game has been sped up). He had some new attacks, but none of them really stood out as all that effective. He'll probably be scary in the hands of an expert with all those moves though.

Fight Club bloopers. Brad Pitt gets hit in the nuts by Edward Norton.

Yoshimitsu looks weird. I like the new insect look, but it's way out there. When he gets juggled or jumps he sprouts some insect wings that flutter really fast. Looks cool as hell. He's still primarily a poke character. Just pester your opponent until he does something stupid and then land your slow ass moves that do some actual damage. I don't really like his style of play, but the potential is definitely there.

Law looks like the same old shit. I didn't see any new moves and the old ones are tired and useless. Still has to rely on getting counter-hits to do most of his powerful juggle starters (which seems to be the general theme of this game) and a lot of his old juggles didn't work anymore. Actually, most of the old juggles from Tag either don't work or just suck compared to some of the new ones you can do. Still mid-tier, still has potential, and still annoying as all fuck.

Law gets his ass kicked (quite literally) into the handicapped section of the parking lot. What irony.

Paul is still the powerhouse he's always been. Death-fist is still just as strong and his falling-leaf combo no longer has stagger stun when it's blocked. These two moves alone make him a pain in the ass to deal with. At higher levels of play he's probably not as devastating, but he'll still be wrecking shop and getting high win streaks in the arcades.

Ling doesn't look too bad. I like the pink dress and she doesn't look as handicapped in the in-game graphics. Nothing much seems to have changed, but I really don't know that much about her. Some guy pulled off some horribly damaging wall combos my last visit, but other than that she didn't seem all that great. I've never seen a Ling expert though. Still, I can just imagine… scary.

King is still in the game and is pimpin it in his old church outfit (hmm… that sounds wrong). I didn't see anything but improvements for this guy. He's got all his old moves and some of the better ones from Armor King. Still has those fast pokes and can still dish out mad damage in throw and juggles. Definitely one of the better characters.

Overall, I'm very pleased with what I've seen so far. With the exception of a few issues regarding stuns and moves that require counter hits, the gameplay seemed pretty balanced. It will be interesting to see what kind of revisions Namco makes to the game during the course of its life span. They have already made changes to slow down a lot of Steve's moves from earlier test versions… I can just imagine how many more things they will need to change. Especially once all the time release characters are out.

Looking forward to laying the smack down with Andy in this game over at U of I. Let's just hope the campus arcade picks this bad boy up. I can't wait.

I'm gonna have me some fun. I'm gonna have me some fun. I'm...

- Haro